All That's Left [Alpha Draft] - Pt 16;

[keybearer]

Chapter 16: Where the Hills Sing

The first glimmers of sunlight peaked over the dense jungle palms. Past the jungle lay a village, nestled into soft, green hilltops standing between the distant mountains. Little white cottages spiraled along the slopes, with a simple dirt road running between them. At dawn, most of the villagers were probably still tucked in their beds. It was too early to tend to the pastures and too early to watch the llamas graze. They led simple lives, but these people hadn’t experienced the hardships the Heartless brought. At least, not on the same level as other worlds. Worlds like… his.

Of all the homes in the village, one got an early start. A tea kettle whistled. Water drizzled through a wooden pipe, and pots and pans clinked and clanged. It was a modest home with modest furnishings. Smooth wooden pillars, stairs, and rafters. A few potted flowers and clay pots resting on shelves and resting on tables. The people there lived equally modest lives, herding their livestock, raising crops for the imperial city. Their peaceful days were interrupted only by occasional Heartless attacks.

But Heartless were hardly the talk of the morning. Across the room, a man and a woman were knee-deep in conversation. The man was tall, broad, with a square face. He wore a loose green poncho and a brown hat atop his chin-length black hair. At the moment, he carried a paper scroll in one hand while he gestured to his wife with the other. Compared to Pacha, she stood about a head shorter, with a slender hourglass figure concealed beneath her yellow gown, curly black hair tucked beneath a green headband, and round, bronze earrings as big as coasters. Her belly bulged just a tiny bit, as she was expecting a newborn child, and after finishing scrubbing one of last night’s pans, Chicha turned away from the sink and marched right over to her husband.

An outsider to this world, Tiz saw no reason to intrude. Sure, he’d lived there for about a year now, but for as much as this village brought back memories of Norende, everything still felt… foreign to him. There were no crystals, no Eternian Forces, and the idea of airships was completely unheard of. Even a quick glance was enough to reveal him as an outsider, with his paler complexion, dusty brown hair, baggy white shirt, and brown trousers. Thankfully, Pacha’s family was kind enough to provide him with shelter, food, and endless kindness. It was more than he could ever ask.

“So, what does he want this time?” said Chicha, eyes narrowed and hands on her hips.

Frowning, Pacha took another look at the scroll. “I don’t know. It just says I need to go to the palace.”

Chicha huffed, turning her chin up. “Hasn’t he heard of common courtesy? And forget the summons. Why hasn’t he done anything about the Heartless?”

Pacha’s shoulders dropped, and he reached for the back of his neck. “He’s probably got his hands full protecting the city—”

“You mean his guards have their hands full. I bet he’s just lounging in his throne as if nothing’s changed.”

“Aw, but nobody’s that—”

“Heartless?” Chicha sighed, shutting her eyes and rubbing her temple. “You know, I’d feel a lot better about this if you took Tiz with you.”

“But who’d look after the village while I’m gone?”

“Honey, I know you’re worried about the baby, but I can take care of myself…”

“But you’ve seen how strong they are!”

“And if they ambush you in the jungle?”

Pacha glanced to Tiz, then back to his wife, placing his free hand on her shoulder. “The jungle might be dangerous, but I’ve made it through before.”

“And he’d probably be safer out there,” said Tiz. Heartless liked to strike populated areas, and there was nobody in that jungle but the animals.

“See? I’ll just follow the path like I always do.”

“Fine.” She smiled wryly, placing her hand over his. “But if he gives you a hard time, I swear I’ll march out there myself and—”

Leaning closer, he smiled back at her. “I’m sure it won’t come to that.”

The two shared a brief peck on the lips, and then steadily pulled apart. After tucking the scroll away, Pacha drifted toward the door, giving Tiz and Chicha a quick wave goodbye. Once Pacha slipped outside, Tiz looked down, staring into his half-drunken teacup. Peaceful as things were right now, something just didn’t sit well. Why had the Heartless come here, and why hadn’t the emperor taken action?

Were they just there by chance, or was there more to it? He couldn’t bear to let this world suffer Luxendarc’s fate.

x.x.x

After a long ship ride, Riku and the gang finally reached the next world. Unlike Sherwood Forest, they were greeted by a clear blue sky and bright beams of sunlight. Lush green trees stretched high above their heads, with bright purple flowers dangling from vines and ferns clustered around their roots. Birds trilled, tweeted, and chirped from afar, while monkeys screeched and squirrels chattered the morning away. The winding river reflected the grassy green hills, rippling with the flow of the current. If anything, it looked like something pulled right out of a travel brochure. Sunny, exotic, easy on the eyes, and free from shadowy pests.

The others seemed to catch on pretty fast, because when Goofy crouched over the river’s edge, he started belting out his usual chuckles. “Well, I’ll be! Looks like the darkness ain’t even touched this world yet.”

But Donald, cynical as ever, swept his staff toward the treetops. “Then what do you call that?”

Oh boy. Partly dreading what awaited him, Riku took a glance at the jungle behind them, where he caught the faintest slivers of black smoke reaching for the clouds. Brow tight, he took a whiff of the air, then grimaced. Though weak, he picked up on a slightly sour smell, and judging by the wrinkled up look on Sora’s face, he must’ve noticed it, too.

‘Weird. I can definitely smell it, but it’s kinda faint…’

“Well, isn’t that a good thing?” said Kairi, practically glowing. “If it’s that weak, then maybe the Organization isn’t here yet. The Heartless could’ve come here all on their own—”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy.” Arms crossed, Riku spent a few more seconds staring up at the tendrils before turning back to his friends. “Face it, it’s practically a cycle by now. We show up, some crazy villain goes nuts with the Heartless… Even without the Nobodies, we’ve still got work to do.”

“True, and I guess it’s too soon to let our guards down…”

Goofy gestured to the village. “Then why don’t we ask around? I bet those fellers’ll know a thing or two.”

“But we’re gonna have to watch out,” said Donald. “The radar only mentioned an emperor, so we’ve got no idea what kinda people live here or what they’ll expect. And if the Heartless haven’t made a move yet, then we’ll wanna keep it that way!”

“Right, so no Keyblades.” Easy enough. They’d already kept their weapons hidden for most of their last trip. No need to flaunt them around.

‘But it’s not just the Keyblades we gotta worry about.’ As proof, Sora started sinking into the ground, a stark reminder of his Heartless status.

“Aw, Sora…” Kairi bent down in front of him, one hand on his shoulder. “We’ll explain everything when we get there, okay?”

“Yeah, ya shouldn’t have to hide from everybody!”

Rubbing his upper arm, Sora cracked a tiny smile, then nodded. But, with that out of the way, he continued to sink into the shadows, and the group took off for the village.

They passed fields of grazing llamas and alpacas, prompting Goofy to wave at the herds, while Kairi grinned with delight and Sora poked his head out of the ground for a closer look. Further along, the smell of hot, greasy food caught Riku’s attention, and he spotted a thatched-roofed building at the edge of a cliff, with a sign showing a large man carrying a plate with what looked like a chameleon fused with a lobster. He’d have to remember to stop by later, just in case their appetites got the best of them.

Once they made it to the village’s edge, Riku finally caught sight of some of the locals. Men, women, and children milled about the dirt path, dressed in loose-fitting ponchos, robes, and gowns knitted with vibrant yard. Reds, greens, oranges, and golds, each outfit was just as eye-catching as the last. And, as they strolled further up the hill, they met brief stares from the villagers, including two old men playing checkers on their patio, a teenage girl guiding an alpaca down toward the fields, and some kids whacking a piñata attached to a nearby tree branch.

Gulping, Donald clamped his beak shut and froze in his tracks. With a strained laugh he said, “It’s just a costume!” Heh, he was really using that excuse again? To top it all off, Donald continued trudging ahead, as if he’d forgotten why they even came to the village.

Well, there was one easy way to fix that, and Riku was quick to tap him on the shoulder. “Hey, Donald. Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Wak!” He stopped, then spun back around. “Wait, have you guys seen any monsters around here?”

One of the old men snapped his fingers. “Oh! You mean those Heartless critters?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what I’m—” He stopped, eyes flying wide open. “Wait! How’d you know that?”

“I bet I know!” said Goofy. “One of our pals musta come here before us. It coulda been Xiruk, Xion, His Majesty—”

The chubbier of the two geezers started scratching his head. “Those names ain’t ringin’ any bells.”

The woman with the alpaca leaned over the two and whispered, “Maybe they lost their worlds…”

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time one of those outsiders popped up…”

Scooting closer, Riku held up both his hands. “Wait. You guys already know about other worlds?” Man, at this rate, Donald would probably start hyper ventilating. They’d only been there a few minutes, and the so-called ‘world order’ had already been smashed!

Feathers already ruffled, Donald flailed his arms as he spoke. “No way! That’s not how it’s supposed to—”

Head tilted, Kairi crouched beside him. “But didn’t Jiminy start off with you guys?”

Goofy’s hat shifted, and Jiminy peeked out from underneath. “That’s right! After our world fell, I woke up outside the castle.”

Though he remained hidden, Sora chimed in anyway. Yeah, and I wound up in Hollow Bastion!

“And it sure has been a while,” said Goofy. “With all them Heartless skitterin’ around, there’s no tellin’ how many worlds’ve—” He stopped, slapping a hand over his mouth just as Riku cringed. “Er, well, I mean—”

“It can’t be helped.” Riku lowered his gaze, covering his eyes and breathing in slowly. “I did this, and I’m not just saying that to sulk. It’s just… this was bound to happen sooner or later.” If anything, he was surprised it’d taken this long. Not everyone wound up in Traverse Town.

Sliding closer to Riku, Sora poked his head out of the ground. At least we won’t have to hide as much! Well, you guys won’t, anyway…

“Heh, guess so.” Though if anything, it was just a consolation prize. Hardly enough to undo the damage. Still, if these guys knew about other worlds, maybe they could help clue them in. “Say, how much do you guys know about the Heartless, anyway? Ever heard of a group called the Organization?”

The nearby villagers all looked to each other, then shook their heads.

“We heard they can steal hearts, but that’s about all we know,” said the woman.

“But they sure like creepin’ around at nightfall!” said one of the elders.

“And they’ve been gettin’ feistier by the day!”

“But we ain’t ever heard of this Organization…”

Steepling her fingers, Kairi turned to Riku with a grin. “Hmmm… Maybe I was right about them.”

Shrugging, Riku grinned right back. “Could be, but let’s not get carried away.”

“Gawrsh…” Goofy scooted closer to the villagers, head cocked to the side while he scratched his chin. “So, what’s all this about folks from other worlds? There anyone like that around here?”

“Sure there is!” said one of the geezers. “Pacha’s family’s been takin’ care of the kiddo for months now, and I bet if ya talk to them, they might even know about that Organization.”

The other geezer nodded. “That’s right! Wasn’t Pacha headed for the city this mornin’?”

The villagers muttered to each other, then nodded in agreement. Thankfully, they were quick to offer directions, pointing toward the very top of the hill. With their destination in mind, the group continued their climb until they stumbled upon a huge white house, surrounded by simple wood fencing. Outside the house, Riku spotted a little boy and girl scampering around. The girl wore her black hair in two puffy pigtails, while the boy’s hair was tied upright. She wore bright oranges and yellows, while wore a plain green skirt, and when the gang drew within about thirty feet of the house, the boy leaped down from the porch and squeaked with excitement.

“Hey, look! It’s a giant duck!” Donald hunched over and groaned at his words, while the girl set her hands on her hips.

“No way!”

“Uh huh! He’s right over there!”

The girl turned around, and soon both kids flew at the group like missiles skidding to a stop directly in front of Donald. Face slightly red, Donald’s beak bent into a rigid smile.

“This is just a cost—”

“If it’s a costume, then how come your face is moving?” The girl leaned in his face, clearly unconvinced.

“And what’s wrong with your voice?” said the boy. “You sound like you swallowed a bug!”

Knees bent, Donald jerked forward and pulled up his sleeves. “Say that again, you—”

Kairi grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. “Breathe, Donald. They’re just kids.”

“Grr… fine.” He drooped over with a great big harrumph.

“You know, if you’re that desperate to blend in, you could always turn into a human.” Though Riku hardly expected him to run with it.

In fact, it didn’t take long before Donald shot up like a bean sprout and gave Riku a sharpened scowl. “No way! I like being a duck.”

“Okay, but that didn’t stop you from sprouting tentacles in Atlantica.”

“But those were just tentacles! I still looked like me.”

“But what about the jungle?” said Kairi, poking him from behind. “You had no problem turning into a vulture back then.”

“But I was still a bird!”

“But, Donald, ya turned me into a turtle once…”

“Because you use a shield! And you still had your face.”

The two kids locked eyes, and then the little boy moved closer to Donald. “So are you a magic duck?”

“Uh, well…” Huffing, Donald lifted his staff and snickered. “I’m not just a magic duck! I’m a royal magician.”

“But why would the emperor hire a bird?” said the girl.

“’Cause of his magic, duh! I bet he’s the reason that guy looks so old.” The boy looked to Riku, whose eyes immediately widened.

“What are you—” It only hit him a second later, when Kairi slipped into a giggling fit.

“I think it’s your hair…”

“Great.” His palm covered his face, concealing a scowl. “But, look, I’m sixteen. That’s not exactly ancient.”

“I dunno.” The boy stood up on his tip toes, squinting. “Only old people have grey hair. Are you sure you’re not lying?”

“Yes.” The total lack of wrinkles should’ve made that crystal clear.

Lucky for him, the cloth covering the door shifted, and a pregnant woman dressed in an orange and gold dress sauntered onto the porch. As soon as she appeared, the kids did an immediate about-face, and the woman bent down in front of the two, giving a warm yet firm smile. “Tipo, what have I told you about talking to strangers?”

The boy pouted, pointing at Donald again. “But mom, they’ve got a talking duck with ‘em!”

“It’s true!” said the girl, prompting a laugh from the woman.

“Well, talking animals or not, you still should have come to me first.”

“Aw, but we don’t mean any trouble!” said Goofy. “We just heard there was somebody from another world stayin’ here, and we were hopin’ you’d be able to help us.”

The woman raised an eyebrow, eying her home for a moment. “We’ve already got a full house, but if you wait until Pacha gets home—”

Goofy shook his head. “Gee, we ain’t lookin’ for shelter, ma’am! We just got a few questions for ya.”

“Oh! Then why don’t you come inside? I was just about to make these two some lunch, and you’re welcome to join us.”

After a long trip, how could they pass this up? They’d get the info they needed and save munny on restaurant bills. It was a win-win situation, and before long, the whole gang squeezed through the door and made their way through the little cottage. Along the way, the woman introduced herself as Chicha, and they soon learned the names of the kids as well. The boy’s name was Tipo, and the girl’s was Chaca, and with a third child on the way and a guest from the outside world, it was no wonder they were short on space. Still, the assorted clay pots, flowers, and leafy plants gave the house an exotic flair, and judging by the sound of sizzling, their food would be ready in no time flat.

Until then, Chicha ushered them toward a rounded table. There, Riku spotted a boy just around Riku’s age, with dusty brown hair and a loose white top. Once Donald and Goofy squeezed inside, the boy gaped for a second and then pushed away from the table.

“Er… I take it you aren’t from around here.”

Riku set a hand on his hip. “Nope. We’re just a band of traveling heroes.”

Chicha turned around, one hand pressed against the archway. “So you didn’t lose your homes?”

Kairi’s gaze dropped, and she shifted in place. “Well, some of us did, but that’s not the reason we’re here.”

“Wait, can you travel between words?” The boy moved closer. “But how? Please, I have to know!”

Both Tipo and Chaca zipped over to him, staring up at him with puppy dog eyes.

“But you can’t go yet, Tiz!” said Tipo. “You still haven’t shown us how to fight!”

Chuckling, Tiz crouched between them. “Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you or this village.”

Perking up, Kairi set her sights back on Tiz. “And neither will we.”

“Good,” said Chicha, “because at this rate, I doubt the emperor’s going to stop them.”

“And just who is this emperor?” Based on Chicha’s words, he must’ve been a lousy leader. That, or just plain ignorant.

Judging by her sneer, Riku was on the right track. “Where do I even begin?”

Chaca frowned. “Well, I heard he’s so mean that he turned people away just for being poor!”

“There’s that, and there’s the fact that he never seems to leave the palace, has never even tried to destroy the Heartless, and never communicates with his people.”

Shutting his eyes, Riku pinched the bridge of his nose. “Great, so it’s Prince John all over again.”

Tiz slumped. “I’d hoped that corrupt monarchs were in the minority…”

“It’s kinda a mixed bag!” said Goofy. “Sometimes ya get tyrants like Prince John or the Queen a Hearts, but we’ve bumped into plenty a fellers tryin’ to take the crown from honest ‘n good rulers like King Triton and the Sultan... ‘Course, that probably doesn’t mean much to ya.”

“I think I know where you’re coming from…” Tiz rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling. “It’s how things were back on Luxendarc, too.”

Wait, Luxendarc? Then it’s gotta be him! Out of the blue, Riku’s shadow started to twitch, splitting apart as Sora skittered across the floor. At the same time, Chicha stepped halfway into the other room, as the sizzling intensified and a kettle started whistling. Her kids zipped right after her, while Sora moved closer and closer.

Seemingly oblivious, Kairi took a seat at the edge of the table. “Really? So what happened back there?”

“It’s… complicated, but there was a lot military intervention. The Duchy of Eternia had a stranglehold on all the other realms, and—” He stopped abruptly when Sora popped up beside him, pen and paper already in hand. Reeling back, Tiz jumped in front of the kids and unsheathed his sword, but before he got a chance to strike, Kairi dashed between the two, and Riku soon followed suit.

Was this going to happen in every world they visited? Probably, but they’d already promised Sora they’d clear the air, and now seemed like the perfect chance.

Smiling sheepishly, Kairi was first to speak. “Um, so… I guess we should’ve introduced him sooner, but this is Sora! He’s one of our friends.”

Tiz’s eyes widened, then narrowed in a flash. On the upside, he made no sudden moves.“But isn’t he a Heartless?”

She squeezed Sora’s shoulder and stood up straight, giving Tiz a pointed look. “Most Heartless don’t carry notebooks.”

Riku nodded, leaning forward. “Turns out self-sacrifice does wonders for a Heartless’ sanity.”

Gulping, Sora tapped his notepad. ‘It’s okay! I’m friends with Ringabel!’ There was even a crude doodle of some guy with a ridiculous pompadour. While Riku didn’t recognize it, Sora had mentioned the name before, and after looking over the note, Tiz gasped and tucked his sword away.

“Then he’s still alive?”

Beaming, Sora nodded and scribbled another note. ‘And he’s looking for you!’

Awkward laughter slipped out of him, and he once again scratched his neck. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”

‘Aw, it’s okay! I know I look pretty scary…’ He scratched his cheek, then added another note. ‘Anyway, I’m Sora!’

“Well, it’s… nice to meet you.” Seating himself at the table, Tiz wore the beginnings of a smile. “So, if you know Ringabel, have you seen anyone named Edea? Or Agnès... Please, if they’re okay—”

The way Sora slumped made the answer clear as day, and he let out a big puff of air before writing. ‘Sorry, I haven’t seen ‘em, but look on the bright side! You’re okay, Ringabel’s okay, and there’s tons of other worlds out there. I bet they’re in the same boat as you.’

Riku cringed, gripping Kairi’s charm. “Then he’s just like us…”

“Huh?” Tiz looked up, scooting to the table’s edge. “Were you separated, too?”

Kairi’s face fell, and she folded her hands in her lap. “That’s right, but we weren’t just split apart. I lost my heart for a while, and Sora… well, I’m sure he could fill you in.”

“But you obviously found your way back to each other, and if that’s the case, then there’s still hope!” He glanced from Kairi, to Riku, and then back to Sora. “Thank you for telling me. This whole time, I’d thought that they were lost to the darkness, and I couldn’t forgive myself…”

Riku took a deep breath, clutching the charm over his chest. “I get it. When I first started this journey, I was so excited to see other worlds, but after a while… I guess it finally sank in. After that, I couldn’t stop worrying, no matter how hard I tried.”

“Aw, shucks, Riku. It all worked out in the end!” Goofy gave him a gentle smile, but he soon turned his focus to Donald. “But what if we took him with us? If he’s got a pal out there searchin’ for him, then I think we oughta help ‘em out!”

“I don’t know, Goofy. It’s not our decision to make.”

“I appreciate the offer,” said Tiz, “but I can’t leave until I know this village is safe.”

Riku smirked, tucking Kairi’s charm back into his belt. “Heh, well, we already had plans to save this world, so it shouldn’t take too long.”

Finally, Chicha returned to the room, arms full of plates and bowls. “All right, what’s all the commotion about?” When she looked up and saw Sora, her dishes nearly dropped to the floor, but Goofy, Tiz, and Kairi all dashed in at the last second, catching a few stray plates and setting them down. Gawking at Sora, she nudged the kids back into the kitchen and brandished a frying pan, but before she could knock Sora’s lights out, the group was quick to reiterate what they’d told Tiz, and soon they all sat down to clear the air. It was high time they clued her in.

Hands folded, Chicha breathed in slowly. “So, let me get this straight. There’s an evil Organization going from world to world, all so they can collect hearts?”

“Yup, ‘cause they don’t have any!” said Goofy. “’Course, it ain’t the hearts that’re the problem. It’s the fact that they’re usin’ Heartless to get ‘em!”

“Lovely. And are they behind the attacks?”

“They might be,” said Donald. “We still gotta investigate, but they’ve got this nasty habit of stirring up trouble.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” said Tiz. “I remember hearing rumors about a strange man in black, though I’d never seen him myself. And now Luxendarc’s…” He trailed off, turning his focus to his plate.

Chicha’s scowl deepened. “That’s their big plan? Because if they even think about destroying our village—”

Sora lifted his notepad. ‘They usually don’t go that far! Plus, if they are here, I bet they’re busy trying to turn somebody into a Heartless.’

Tiz set his fork down, placing both his hands on the tabletop. “But that’s pure madness! What do they have to gain from turning people to the darkness?”

“That’s easy,” said Riku. “They get a shiny new flunky to use as Keyblade bait, and we’re stuck on cleanup duty.”

Brow furrowed, Chicha leaned over the table. “Well, if you want my opinion, I think you should go to the palace.”

“Good idea!” said Kairi. “It’s through the jungle, right? We noticed some weird smoke on the way here, but…”

Chicha winced. “I knew it.”

“Wait, what’s wrong?”

“My husband received a summons this morning, and he just had to take off on his own…”

Dropping his fork, Donald hopped onto the floor. “Then we’d better do something about it!”

Following Donald’s lead, Goofy grabbed his shield and darted toward the door. “Don’t worry, ma’am! We’ll get him back here in a jiffy.”

“Well, make sure you stick to the path. One wrong step could lead you straight into quicksand, and that’s if you don’t run into a jaguar first.”

“Heh, sounds fun.” Well, not really, but jaguars had nothing on the Heartless. No matter what, they were at risk, though Riku’d keep her tip in mind. “Anyway, we’ll be careful. You just hang tight ‘til we get back!”

x.x.x

Boy oh boy. Xigbar knew the kiddo’d turn up sooner or later, but this had to be a new record. It’d been, what? A few days since that little stint in Nottingham? Time between worlds was tough stuff, so he might’ve been off the mark, but either way, it was sure to shake things up. Not that things hadn’t already taken a turn for the unexpected.

See, during his time here, he’d made pals with the royal advisor. A spindly hag coated in wrinkles, with big bulging eyes and a love of ridiculous purple dresses and gravity-defying headpieces. She was nuts, plain and simple. Your typical backstabbing broad with a side of mad scientist and desire for power. By all accounts, she was the perfect Heartless candidate, but when he first waltzed into her so-called secret lab, she’d already pointed out that she a) knew all about the Heartless and b) had no plans to dip her feet into the darkness.

But hey, it wasn’t a total loss. Her kooky lab was stuffed with shelves of glass vials, each filled with bright colorful fluids. Test tubes and beakers bubbled with all sorts of crazy chemicals, and with Vexen pushing daisies, somebody had to pick up the slack. Turns out her little potions could change people into just about anything. Whales, parrots, cows… With the Organization scoping out so many different worlds, it kinda paid to blend in, so they formed a little alliance, and the rest was history.

They’d use a few Heartless here and there to spread panic and distrust, and she’d whip up some specialty formulas. An eye for an eye and all that.

Well, turned out Yzma’s latest scheme took things to the next level. She’d invited that bratty emperor to a dinner, complete with a round table topped with a fancy gold candelabra, fresh bowl of salad, tall gold glasses, and a tray full of killer spinach puffs. The plan was to poison the kid, but now he lay slumped over the table with a fresh bump poking out of his now furry head. Furry, because one little swig of that drink granted him a long neck, hooves, a snout, and the whole llama experience.

Xigbar had to fight to hold back his laughter, but he made no effort to hide his huge, toothy grin when Yzma scolded her buff, dim-witted flunky. He towered over her, with broad shoulders, muscles the size of boulders, and an enormous chin. Right now, he’d dressed up in blue oven mitts and a matching apron, which totally clashed with his whole bodybuilder looks. But hey, why complain? While he watched the two bicker, Xigbar scooped up another spinach puff, twirling it between his fingers.

“Let me see that vial!” Yzma snapped, grabbing the little tube and smoothing out its label. Snarling, she held it up to Kronk’s face. “This isn’t poison, this is extract of llama!” The vial bounced off Kronk’s forehead, and he was quick to respond.

“Y’know, in my defense, your potions all look alike. You might think about re-labeling some of them.”

“As if.” Xigbar took a bite, then leaned back in his chair. “Murder’s way too cliché, but this? This is gold.”

“Rrgh! Nobody asked you, Xigbar!” Fuming, she curled her spindly fingers into trembling fists, while Kronk reached for his chin.

“Huh. He’s got a point.”

“So? That doesn’t get rid of the problem now, does it?”

“But if Kuzco’s a llama, nobody’d believe he’s the emperor.”

“See? Kronk gets it.” Snickering, Xigbar added, “By the way, love the spinach puffs.”

“Aw, thanks, but just wait ‘til you try the dessert.”

“Who cares about the dessert?!” Yzma gritted her teeth, pointing at Kuzco. “I’m not here to entertain you. The whole reason I invited him to dinner was so I could kill the emperor and take my rightful place as ruler!”

“Yeah, but death’s way too easy. You kill him, and that’s it. It’d be over so fast you wouldn’t get to enjoy yourself.” Sliding out of his chair, Xigbar patted Kuzco on the back. “But see, it’s like Kronk told ya. Kuzco’s already as good as dead. And when he finds out what you did to him, well…”

“Hmm… No doubt he’ll be furious.” Yzma pressed her back against the table, gazing down at the kiddo. “That spoiled brat is selfish, arrogant, and completely detached from reality. And now he’s powerless… Why, with just the right push, he could easily succumb to the darkness, and then he’d have to answer to me!”

Kronk frowned. “But, uh, I thought you weren’t big on the whole darkness thing.”

“Of course not! But I can control the Heartless without relying on darkness. What do you think we’ve been doing this whole time?”

He looked down at his mitts. “Well, let’s see. You made those potions, plotted behind Kuzco’s back, got chewed up by crocodiles—”

“Forget the crocodiles! The point is, we can use this to our advantage, but we’ll have to hurry.” She spun around, traipsing up to Kronk. “Now, I want you to take the emperor out of town. Throw him into the jungle if you have to!”

“Now as in right now?”

“Yes, right now! We don’t have all night.”

“But what about dinner?”

“Hey, we gotta at least have some dessert,” said Xigbar.

Kronk nodded. “And coffee?”

Yzma raised her index finger, then lowered her hand. “Oh, all right, but after that, no more distractions!”

“Better make it quick, too, ‘cause that Keybearer’s already on his way.”

TO BE CONTINUED